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1/14/2005

The Nazi Princes - Set Them All Free!

Prince Harry goes to a fancy dress party in Nazi uniform. Huge media fuss. A nation in crisis.
Ut-nay ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray, if you know what I mean. The biggest break the British people could therefore give to the Royal Family in general would be to set them free.
Ever since September 1st 1997 it's been obvious that the British Royal Family are much much too attractive and lucrative to the mass media. Why the Brits? Why not the Dutch or Danish or the other cyclo-stocracies? The papparazi don't chase them around the quaint cobbled streets and open air cafes of the continent. Why? What's the difference?
The only one I can think of is the fact that for some bizarre reason, we still allow our royals real political power. Or seem to. Take that perception away, plus the massive unearned privileges, reduce them to the rank of human beings and you'd be amazed how soon they would lose their fascination.
They would gain a whole new perspective on the world, and be able to function as thinking human beings instead of being forced to live in a quasi-moralistic, phoney-historical puppet show. They are not people, merely a cast. And they're not even very good at this theatrical role, if this appalling wardobe choice is anything to go by.
If there's one thing you expect from an efficient aristocracy, it's taste. The innate ability not to offend anyone. They're meant to be the masters. So much for another myth. Remember, we only know about this at all because of the market value of photographs of the Ginge Regent swanking about in jackboots. His Toffo-buddies would never have rushed to Canary Wharf without a decent bit of bunce at the end of it.
It's time the Windsors were Tebbitted: let them Get on Their Bikes. They'll be much happier, and useful.

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