My First Manicure - Angela Kelly

Overdrawn on Monday. £35M in credit on Wednesday.

The life of anyone in that position is bound to be changed. But was it necessary for the media to fish quite so shamelessly for another juicy divorce case as they did through their questions about the absent Mr Kelly and his possible claims to this windfall? Questions which Angela fielded with amazing grace.

Was it necessary for them to test her identity quite so deviously with their questions about her charitable intentions and spending plans? Would she be sending her son to public school? Would she be buying a house in Italy? Which sounded a bit like the cry of 'Join Us, Join Us!' from the Undead - or the advertising departments of the newspapers which depend on the property industry for their existence, as they are sometimes known.

Did they have to try quite so hard to tease out some evidence of basic selfishness in order to feed the myth of universal selfishness and self-indulgence? Would she be paying pop stars to give private performances? Wouldn't it be great if everyone was that innately selfish?

Sadly, Angela Kelly looks set to disappoint the Lottery vultures. Good for her.

Bikeless Bungling Boris Blasts Brick Lane Barrowboys

Amid his tears, Boris Johnson, future mayor of London Town, naturally concluded that his stolen machine would end up being sold in Brick Lane.
So Brick Lane is crawling with fences and hook-nosed chancers peddling hookier gear, eh Boris?
Surely that betokens some kind of Operation Bumbleboris from a putative mayor. A vicous crackdown and cleanup all in one go. At the very least, the Voters of London should be made fully aware of the dangers of this den of cutthroats and pickpockets. And not just offered a tantalising hint in a petulant paddy about a lost bike, which was probably not chained up properly
in the first place.
What next? Boris offers a bacon sandwich to a Jewish reporter? You heard it here first.
Boris In Tears