Fiona Bruce's Arse

Fiona Bruce Fiona Bruce Fiona Bruce.
That's taken care of three or four hundred hits in the next month or so.
It seems that the internet and its users are so stupid that the mere mention of this Bimbo will continue to draw the drooling multitudes on their hands and knees, if need be.
And now her most intelligent feature, her arse, has won an award. So let the good times roll.
This dreary child of Thatcher actually wrote a book in 2008 in which she delivered the startling revelation that women are routinely sexually molested and that in fact, they don't like it, and don't ask for it, and that it is the fault of men - not the women themselves! Who'd'a'thunkit?
Women everywhere breathed a sigh of admiration and wonder, and prepared to live new, liberated lives courtesy of Ms Bruce. Now they can also marvel at the liberating influence of her arse, and everything she says through it.
And naturally, the Fragrant Fiona is no more to blame than this lot. I don't have a clue who most of them are, but apparently they are the best people on the planet. If I've left out any household gods please correct me. We wouldn't want to displease them.

The Best People On the Planet List

Michael Jackson, Jordan, Sting, Bono, Adam Sandler,  Aishwarya Rai,  Alana De La Garza,  Ali Landry,  Ali Larter,  Alicia Silverstone,  Alyson Hannigan, Alyssa Milano, Amanda Bynes, Amanda Peet, Amy Adams, Amy Jo Johnson, Amy Lee, Amy Poehler, Amy Smart, Angelina Jolie, Angie Harmon, Anna Faris, Anna Kournikova,  Arielle Kebbel. Ashlee Simpson, Ashley Judd. Ashley Scott, Ashley Tisdale, Autumn Reeser, Avril Lavigne, Beyonce Knowles, Brad Pitt, Brea Grant, Bridget Fonda, Bridgette Wilson, Britney Spears, Brittany Murphy, Brittany Snow, Brooke Burns, Brooke Shields, Cameron Diaz, Carrie Anne Moss, Cassie Ventura, Catherine Zeta Jones, Chandra Wilson, Charisma Carpenter, Charlize Theron, Christina Aguilera, Christina Applegate, Christina Ricci, Claire Forlani, Claudia Schiffer, Colleen Haskell, Constance Marie, Courteney Cox, Dakota Fanning, Deanna Russo, Demi Moore, Denise Richards, Diane Lane, Diora Baird, Drea De Matteo, Drew Barrymore, Elisha Cuthbert, Eliza Dushku, Elizabeth Hurley, Elizabeth Shue, Ellen Pompeo,   Elsa Benitez, Emily Procter, Emma Watson, mmy Rossum, Eric Dane, Erica Durance, Estella Warren, Eva Longoria, Eva Mendes, Evangeline Lilly, Faith Hill, Felicity Huffman,  Fergie,  Gabrielle Union, Gena Lee Nolin, Gillian Anderson, Goldie Hawn, Gwyneth Paltrow, Halle Berry, Hayden Panettiere, Heather Graham, Heather Locklear, Heidi Klum, Helen Hunt, Hilary Duff, Hilary Swank, Isaiah Washington, Jaime Pressly, James Pickens Jr, Jenna Fischer,  Jennie Finch, Jennie Garth, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Love Hewitt,  Jennifer Morrison, Jenny McCarthy, Jeri Ryan, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel,  Jessica Simpson, Jordana Brewster, Josie Maran, Jude Law, Jules Asner, Julia Roberts, Julia Stiles, Justin Chambers, Kate Beckinsale, Kate Hudson, Kate Walsh, Kate Winslet, Katee Sackhoff, Katherine Heigl, Katie Holmes, Keira Knightley, Kelly Carlson, Kelly Clarkson, Kelly Preston, Kelly Ripa, Keri Russell, Kiley Dean, Kim Basinger, Kirsten Dunst, Krista Allen, Kristanna Loken, Kristen Bell, Kristin Kreuk, Kurt Russell, Lacey Chabert, Laetitia Casta, Laura Linney, Lea Thompson, Leah Remini, Leelee Sobieski, Leila Arcieri, Lindsay Lohan, Lucy Lawless, Lucy Liu, Madonna, Majandra Delfino, Mandy Moore, Marcy Rylan, Marg Helgenberger, Mariah Carey, Marisa Miller, Masi Oka, Masiela Lusha, Meg Ryan, Megan Fox, Melissa Hart, Mena Suvari, Michelle Pfeiffer, Michelle Rodriguez, Michelle Ryan, Mike Myers,   Miley Ray Cyrus, Minka Kelly, Mischa Barton, Missy Peregrym, Molly Sims, Monica Keena, Nadine Velazquez, Natalie ,  Natascha McElhone, Neve Campbell, Nicolas Cage, Nicole Eggert, Nicole Kidman, Nicollette Sheridan, Nikki Cox, Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Patricia Arquette, Patricia Heaton, Patrick Dempsey, Penelope Cruz, Petra Nemcova, Phoebe Cates, Piper Perabo, Rachael Leigh Cook, Rachel Bilson, Raquel Alessi, Rashida Jones, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Rebecca Saint James, Reese Witherspoon, Renee Zellweger, Robin Williams, Roselyn Sanchez, Russell Crowe,  Salma Hayek, Sandra Bullock, Sandra Oh, Sara Paxton, Sara Ramirez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Silverman, Scarlett Johansson,   Shakira, Shannon Elizabeth, Sharon Stone, Sigourney Weaver,   Steve Martin, T.R. Knight, Tara Reid, Tea Leoni, Teri Hatcher, Thora Birch, Tiffani Amber Thiessen, Tim Allen, Tina Fey,   Tobey Maguire,  Tom Cruise, Tommy Lee Jones, Tori Spelling, Tricia Helfer, Uma Thurman, Valerie Bertinelli, Vanessa Angel, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Vanessa Ferlito, Vanessa , Vanessa Williams, Victoria Beckham, Vin Diesel, Virginia Madsen, Will Smith, William Shatner, Yasmine Bleeth, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Bell, Zooey Deschanel.
And Uncle Tom Cobbley and all.

Fiona Bruce Misses The Point

WARNING TO TIME-WASTERS - NO ADULT CONTENT BELOW.

If you think there are pictures of Ms Bruce here, you were misinformed. Blame Google.

Dear old Fiona Bruce.
 She spends 40 years looking down on the world from her stillettoes, and eventually comes to the reasonable feminist conclusion that every woman will have been sexually molested by the time she reaches 50. And apart from the also reasonable suggestion that the offenders be made to bite off their own testarossas, her solution is that women should be forever vigilant against this ever-present threat. Which again sounds reasonable enough, if a decade or three too late. Her book, published today, seems to be crammed with sensible Girl-Guide notes on how to not be robbed, swindled, forgotten, attacked or killed. Don't forget your keys, girls! In other words, on how to be as sassy, sorry 'Savvy' as she obviously is.
One bi-product of co-writing this book has apparently been to raise her awareness of the extent of casual, mundane, everyday, Carry-On style sexual assault. The disgusting, traumatising sort of event which women are supposed to laugh off.
As most women know, this is a universal experience, and therefore as a co-incidental guest on today's 'Wright Stuff', Fiona was part of a bemused panel which found that almost every woman in the studio had been molested at least once, and she which was forced to ask over and over:

'Why do they do it? Why do men feel they have the right to molest women in the street'

without anyone pointing out that women are perpetually offered for mental molestation on every street corner, almost always by depictions of women in the style of Fiona Bruce or Shobna Gulati.
There was even some loose talk about a campaign of sorts. Posters were mentioned, but only as a means of countering this menace, and not as part of the problem. Not one member of this highly savvy gathering of media folk were able to make the connection between the landscape of drooling, open-crotch posters, and videos of submissive women offering themselves for the price of a bar of chocolate, and the reasonable assumption on the part of the molestor that if women in general go along with the spirit of this transaction, then sex is a commodity which men are entitled to on demand. As the savvy young lady in the underwear promises:

'Christmas Kisses Guaranteed.'

 Any sort of campaign must take account of the fact that advertising does work, no matter what the advertising industry says, and that the image it regularly conveys of women is of being sexually available and vulnerable. Sexually desperate and vulnerable men will believe this applies to all women. But that would mean taking on the advertising industry and all the industries it pimps for. And what are the chances of that from people like Fiona Bruce and Matthew Wright, who have so much to lose?
The enemy of women is the money market which uses their bodies to empty shelves. Which creates the 48 sheet posters of them for mental molestation on every street corner.
The media classes seem totally unable to make the connection between their marketing of sex on demand, and the inevitable, resultant demand for sex. Which is not sex at all, but politics at its most basic level.
This of course is not the same as saying that all men will react that way - the gross Strawman argument of Dan Leslie and her mates at the Daily Wail, but some certainly will, and do. And some will take the next leap from groping on tube trains to serious sexual and physical assault. The reason why such 48-sheet porn should be taboo is therefore the same reason we regulate gun use.
In the meantime, the other effect of using sex to sell drain cleaner is to degrade women in general. To make them a bit less human. Which makes criminal assaults and abuse even more likely, but which also makes the law less likely to protect women in the first place, if laws define the acceptable norms of social behaviour.
So what we are seeing in Fiona's misgivings, and the findings of today's UN report on sexual harassment is a retreat from feminism and the triumph of the commercialisation of women. Too little feminism, not too much.